trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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