saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
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