just tell him i said nine months
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
