i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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