Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
