just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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