am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
