I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
