...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
