oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
