This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Randomize
