I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.