I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
