i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
