I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize