He had one of those small greek statue penises
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
