is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
