Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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