haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
