This girl is more easily done than said...
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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