I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
