I'm really into asian looking animals
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
i think my cat just said my name.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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