I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
