Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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