Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
