There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
