THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
