Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
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