Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Randomize
