What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
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