I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
