Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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