whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
