Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
