No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
