Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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