I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
