never play flip cup with pint glasses
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
he fucked my hip out of place.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
