Small penises have feelings too.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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