i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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