Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
