i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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