Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
