My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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