Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Also, beer. Big fan.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
