Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
