so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
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