More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
just tell him i said nine months
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
