why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
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