I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
