Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
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