too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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