I have demons in me.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
