my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
