White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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