so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
