And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
