Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
