so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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