so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Randomize
