hell yes lets make some ravioli
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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