I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
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