Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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