I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Randomize