Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
