her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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