Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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